Yesterday was the first official snow day of the 2009-2010 school year. It is extra special as I was supposed to teach that day. No school though, so that meant no art class. Kind of a ying to the yang thing, something good but then something bad at the same time. But that is what happens in Wisconsin during the winter months.

I can remember the snow days from the time I was a student. The worst kind of snow days were those half days off. The snow could be removed by the noon hour, so you were still expected to get to school. Or you would have a two hour delay, which means that you still had to get ready for school and your whole day was condensed in shorter time periods. You would have math class during lunch and science class right next to gym. It would have been easier to just cancel the whole day and start over the next day, but apparently that matrix equation and cosine could not wait.

So what do kids do on a snow day? Well, some find time to play in the snow and build forts and for the most part, kids sleep in a bit more. Usually the older students do this and some art teachers too. It is a great feeling to know that basically you are not expected to actually show up and been seen at school. For the most part, with weather-predicting equipment and forecasts so up-to-date, teachers know for sure if the schools would be closed the day before. Then they really can sleep in! For the poor part-time teacher (and I make an emphasis on POOR) that type of teacher has to watch the new crawl of closings on the local tv morning shows or listen to the radio. Either option is not the highlight of the morning ritual for the very poor part-time teacher. (Did I mention that I meant poor, as in not financially abundant and not weak in skills…just needed to make note of that)

Getting back to watching morning tv and listening to the radio, I really can’t stand either. Take for instance yesterday: I hate the morning radio as there is a broadcaster on the air that thinks he is the next coming of Walter Winchell. I hat this guy. He is a blowhard and a bully and leans so much to the right that I am amazed he does not fall off his chair. So I totally do not listen to the radio. The television…no better. They crawl the canceled schools on the bottom of the screen and because my school could go by two names… St. Peter the Fisherman Catholic Grade School or Two Rivers Public and Private schools, two names that are waaaaaaayyyyyyy in the back of the alphabet. So you are not only seeking intensely to find those schools listed on the crawl, but you get a little upset when you see all the schools from Appleton and Beaver Dam hog all the time allotted.

To really make matters worse, if the broadcast goes into commercial, the crawl stops and starts over again FROM THE BEGINNING!!!!! Argggggghhhhhh! By this this you can’t get back to sleep. You might as well get ready for school and hope that the principal acts like the death row warden and gives you a last minute reprieve
. This is what happened yesterday, I was watching the ABC morning show. I do not want or care to give the name of the program because it stinks. That is not fair, let me iterate….it really blows. I do not watch it often or at all, but Diane Sawyer is on the screen and is talking to a doctor about the very importance of a vitamins to young women a very important issue as both of them are sitting on stuffed chairs and drinking liquid in a hot cup. I do not give a crap about that at the time. I want to know if the crawl will say “ST. Peter the Fisherman Catholic Grade School——canceled”. They are almost ready to get to the S’s of the list of schools that are canceled and the whole screen pops up to show this doctor’s name. What the heck?!!!! ARRRRGGGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!

To make matters worse they keep his name on the screen for the rest of the interview and all the names on the crawl are blocked because of it. Diane and the young doctor are having such a good time meanwhile I am pulling clumps of hair out of my head as this is the tenth time I have missed my school’s name. There is no time for me to get a few more z’s. I have to be at school and get supplies ready for the few kids that will show up. I want to curse Diane the Cougar and her boy-toy doctor.

Quickly the email rings and I am notified that school is canceled. What a relief. I put down my notepad of which I was writing a letter to the ABC affiliate, and went back to sleep…..only to be awakened by the call to get out of bed and start shoveling.

I have drawn my fair share of people and made them look better then what they actually look like. The reason? Long story short, the customer is the main person who is paying you. If you want to be paid, draw a presentable caricature.

There have been instances that I have had to just bite my tongue and not “report” the actually “truth”. I have had people say to me to knock a few pounds off or make them younger or with more hair. In most cases that is just a way to bring a little levity to the situation. But in all honesty, that is what I am trying to do anyway.

My first caricature experience, I had to draw for a Wedding Party in Green Bay. I was called up by “my manager”. I did not know I had a manager. Apparently some guy heard about me and wanted to run an entertaining agency and needed caricaturists. Plus he had a gig for me and it paid $120.So I said sure. I did not know at the time that I had to owe this guy 35% of my cut. That sucked. Especially after I got to the gig.

I did not know exactly how to work it so I had a make-shift easel and a few matte boards and some drawing utensils such as sharpie markers, pencils, erasers and colored markers too. I was getting paid as a total sum so anyone who wanted a caricature, just had to step right up. I was scheduled to draw for 2 hours and I stayed 2 hours longer. First lesson: Only stay as long as you are scheduled. If you bend this rule a bit, you will still be drawing hours after you are supposed to be home. In this first time out drawing as a “professional” caricaturist, I so wanted to please everyone that was there.

Getting back to drawing at this event. There happened to be a mother of 3 children. The oldest happened to have a smile with a gap. After drawing babies and children (or so it seemed) I was thrilled to try to break the monotony of the perfect smiles. Before I even picked up the pencil, this young girl said something to the effect, “Don’t put the gap in my teeth!”

What was I supposed to do? This little detail made the whole portrait look like the subject. I had the partially-closed eyes, the long black hair, the freckles (which she said not to add, after I drew them). Without the gap this picture would not look like her at all. What to do?

In a quick instant, I decided not to draw in the teeth. It basically looked like a white strip in her mouth. A perfect white strip. From that decision, I have decided not to draw in the teeth. For the most part, people do not smile so much that you need to show all the teeth. This is what I figured out in my head and this is why to this day, I do not draw lines where the teeth are. When you add lines, you create a space and it just does not jibe with what I do.

Getting back to the first gig, the mother of this girl was so pleased with the caricature that she wanted one with her daughter. Another thing I have learned, trying to draw the same person twice in a row is kind of difficult and somehow does not work out for me. I can do it, but do not expect a carbon copy of the same caricature in different sizes. I am not a xerox machine. I do not make perfect copies. It is the artist in me that likes to change things up, otherwise I would be a professional counterfeiter, and that’s not right. This seemed to baffle the mom and she basically was adament about drawing her with her daughter. So I did.

It turned out alright. Granted I decided to put away my markers and just focus on the black and white images. That way it gave me more time and more people to draw, the main purpose of why I am getting paid. I was sent there not to be a personal caricaturist to a few, but to a many people.

After drawing Gappy and Mom, I thought I was through with the two. No, not quite. Mom came up and wanted to be drawn by herself with a martini. Okay, I can do that. I drew this woman with clearer eyes and not so jacked-up. Then she wanted her son drawn with her. She was so pleased with that caricature, that she wanted to have another one drawn of her and her TWIN sister. TWIN SISTER! This kind of irked me. To monopolize me to draw this woman’s family when many others want to get drawn is downright rude and out of line. Now if you paid for it, yes that would be acceptable. But this was technically a free event as I was paid for the full time ahead.

So I started on the twins. They both looked the same. They wanted to draw themselves sipping martinis with their arms crossed. I just wanted to draw them and get it over with. After gritting my teeth and finishing it up, the two were so baked, that they were hugging each other and having a grand old time. I gave them the envelope, which I supplied and thanked them. Before they took it, they said the dreaded words any caricaturist hates to hear (or at least me)....“Now who will keep it?”

Don’t tell me I have to make another copy of these two! It is the same freakin’ person in the last 4 pictures!

Now to be honest, I should have done some things to avoid this mess. One, have a limit on the free caricatures. One per person. If they are paying for it, fine, but remind them that the artist (you) has limited time to draw and that he/she is scheduled to draw as many DIFFERENT people as possible, otherwise the artist will not get paid. Basically if you are not paying for it, you only get one.

Now technically, the lady that I had to draw 4 times, was not that difficult to draw but rather to handle. Similar to any customer, try to talk to them in a calm manner and explain the process to them. I think if I would have said this earlier, I would not be in the jam I was in.

By the way, the lady wanted another caricature of herself, her twin sister, her daughter, Gappy, her son and her husband and the other twin’s husband and two kids. Not all together but separate. She told me that she was from Indiana and had never had the experience of being drawn. Plus she wanted all the people that she was with to have a copy of the caricature. At that time of the conversation, I looked up and saw that I was 10 minutes over my deadline and I was ready to go home. I also decided that from now on, I will make the decision of when and where I will draw caricatures. Not some guy that called up and was one caricaturist short in his agency.

People ask me all the time on how I get my caricatures signed. The easy way out of it is just me shrugging my shoulders and saying “Idontknow.” That does not fly about 100% of the time.

I guess the real answer to to snag some autographs is just meeting the celebrity. On occasion I have caught a few stars performing at the local theater. The majority in my collection have been just writing to Mr. or Ms. Star. That would mean the celebrity not an actual person with the last name Star. Although Bart Starr is on my “caricature to be signed list”, but that is another story…

The real way of getting the autographs I need is fairly obvious. I subscribe to StarTiger.com. It used to be called Star Archive, but the guy who runs it thought changing the name would be a better way to differentiate it from other sites. I would have to say that 90% of my collection is from this site. But that is only part of the way I get my signatures.

You see, it is not only the writing of the celeb you have to do, but making your requests stand out. I have read about people sending in custom made baseball cards, or photos they Pro-Painted on their computer at home. For me it has always been the caricature. I draw all the details and basics by hand. I color and paint the whole picture by hand. I airbrush the background, by hand…and an airbrush. It is about 4 hours of work to get one painting done. But that is not the whole process.

I guess you can call me a show-off. I want the celebrity to sign the original painting and get more of a reaction then just a signature. So I make plenty of room for a comment or salutation from him or her. Now in the autograph business, that is looked down on. You never want any personalization on the item. It ruins the resale. You know what? I don’t care. I am not in the market to see my caricatures that are signed. I like to keep them. The celebrity took the time to read my letter and look at my painting, they can sign their name and add a comment too. I even tell them too if they want. I have no qualms about a returned painting with a personalization. To me that is a bonus and an honor to have.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a complete narcissist. I include a copied print of the painting for the celeb to keep. Sometimes they like it so much they sign that one instead of the original. Or they might send them both back signed. Or they never send anything back.

Now lately I have been in the convention market. I send my caricatures to appearances at conventions and whatnot. So far, not that good. Most of the stars are there and you know where and when they will appear. You also know how much they charge. That is the kicker. By writing through the mail, it is essentially free. (Except for the fact that you are paying postage twice, one going out and another hoping to come back. Don’t get me started on the numerous paintings I had lost due the fact that the celebrity holds on to it forever. Or chucks it)

Getting back to the convention scene, I have done this 3 times and I am not totally sold on it. By being in the StarTiger.com community, you know who will be at certain conventions and who will go. I have mailed my caricatures to these nice people and for a minimum price they will bring my caricature to get signed. They do their job, don’t get me wrong. They truly helped me out.

BUT….

The old expression “If you want the job done right, do it yourself,” definitely is true. No offense but the Star Trek universe people must have warped into a different dimension. My Spock, who I paid a pretty penny for is useless. I specifically painted an area for Leonard Nimoy to sign and he goes ahead and signs his oil-based pencil colored uniform. With a big space to his right totally devoid of a signature; it’s open. I also had a Star Trek character sign the detailed hands I had worked on meticulously. Why? I guess they decided that man has gone nowhere before in signing caricatures, so an oil-based rendering of furry hands is the optimum space to sign a very well used sharpie marker on essentially colored oil. Yeah that works out real well.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the help that my fellow collectors have given me. It just is a big letdown seeing a half-done signature on a caricature that I really researched and took time to do, compared to just buying a photo off the web.

One last experience: I was going to send a caricature to a professional purveyor of sports signatures. I won’t mention names but it is close to what Germans drink beer out of. Anyway, they had Hank Aaron, the Home Run King and former Milwaukee Brave/Brewer icon signing items. I thought great! I will draw Hammerin’ Hank and send it in with my check. Granted it was much more then I expected to spend but Hank was worth it.

I drew a young Hank ready to hit a homer out of Old County Stadium in Milwaukee. I researched his uniform to the pinstripes and brave patch on his shoulder. Drew him up, colored him, and added a neat background. All ready to send. I looked back at the website and the German beer drinking device name, doubled the price. You got to be kidding.

Needless to say, I won’t be able to send my Hank to meet the real one. Too bad as I was ready to take down my Ron Dayne to show off Mr. 755. But like the title of this blog states, sometimes it is all about luck and that also includes bad luck.

Well I was looking at a few blogs I had written earlier and thought I should conclude this one.

I left off with finding the right surface to create friction for a golf ball to travel on cardboard. Balls of any kind do not travel well on cardboard alone. Painting it does not help. So after some running around a store, I found some big rolls of model train scenery. Basically green wood-chips glued on paper. Granted it was old as the rolls were in no way wanting to be unrolled and more of the chips and dust would come off of the paper, but once we glued the super contact glue on the cardboard and backside of the paper, we could glue both parts down just right. A little bit of ironing out the wrinkles with a piece of wood, and we were all set.

Now out of 18 holes, 2 of which did not need the green train set approach. One was Jill F’s Egypt. I told her that I wanted a sand-like hole, and instead of actually bringing in buckets of sand and ticking off Don the Janitor, I had went to the dollar store to pick up some sand paper squares. It worked great. The squares were small but putting two people on the project made it go faster.

The other hole was Antarctica. That was one of my responsibilities. So noticing that the green wood-chip paper does not paint well, I decided on some insulation panels. Preferably one that was cut so I could fit it in my car. The nearest place to get one was Koss Building Supply. They got me a nice sheet and it was 2 inches thick. Prefect for the ball to fall down into. They sliced it for me and and I glued some wood sticks on one of the ends and lined it up just right, dug some holes and I had a portable “snow island/continent”.

Now no matter what type of skill you have as a golfer or putter, chances are that the ball will fall off the cardboard. If you remember I had the whole school save toilet paper rolls so the class could cut them in half and glue them on the bottem of the cardboard/greens. By gluing a Styrofoam bowl where the hole goes underneath, makes a perfect cup. Of course with Antarctica, I just dug a hole out. But to make the ball stay of “course” we had to create some blockers or dividers. Insulation for pipes worked the best. A bag of 3 foot insulation tubes ran close to $12.

Some students created unique bumpers that did the same trick. Catherine T had picked China and her hole was essentially the Great wall of China with a dragon on it. The dragon was actually the green and the Great Wall was the cardboard. She had glued cardboard squares on it and then painted the whole thing gray/brown. Then she glued a dragon green on top. The leftover circles created by the holes everyone made were cut in half and created scales for the dragon which also kept the ball on the playing surface which was the dragon/green.

Emily C had Italy and she cut slices of pizza out of cardboard and glued them around her course. Danielle D did a similar thing except she had made mini loaves of bread out of paper and scrap paper for France. Brett K had England and glued Hotwheel cars as bumpers on his black topped streets of London. For the Styrofoam Antarctica, I saved my water bottles, took off the labels, and glued them on the surface. It made it look like ice on top of snow. Most of the other students used the piping I had purchased.

Now it was basically up to the kids and myself to decorate each of the holes as a country or region we were previously assigned.

Sometimes when I am drawing caricatures, I like to “show off” the caricatures that have been signed by famous people. Now after 14 years of sending caricatures to famous people, I have quite a collection. Usually I have at least 10-15 people come up to me and ask “How do you get the famous people or person to sign for you? How do I know these famous people?”

Well, the short answer is not as fun as the long story, so I am going to tell you the long story on how this came about. As you know I was diagnosed with cancer in 1995. Major bummer. I was given six weeks to live. I started to fight back with radiation and chemo. Well by doing so, the realization is that chemo not only destroys the cancer cells in your body, but also the healthy ones too. It really took a toll on the nerves in my extremities and it was very hard to even control a pencil, a basic tool for an artist. To this day my toes and feet feel like they are asleep all the time.

Anyway, this was a big concern. If I could not draw, I could not create. No creations, no art. No art, no Dean like we all know and love and admire and emulate, etc. I was depressed. I could not even draw a strait line. It felt like bird caught in a cage, no where to spread its wings and fly. I was really depressed.

But I was adamant. I knew I could regain my talents. I had the ideas in my head, I just had to do things step by step. I began with a simple caricature of Nicholas Cage. It did not look like him. I tried again and again. I finally moved on to some “easier” subjects. I drew Robin Williams and his grin and nose, I drew Eddie Murphy with his smile. I drew almost every “hack drawing” I could think of. I drew and drew and drew some more.

Pretty soon I had so many drawings, I did not know what to do with them. I went to the library and found a book on celebrity addresses. I thought, “Hey, why not send these pictures to these famous people?” So I did and wrote a nice letter and sent the caricature I drew of them.

After a wait of time, I received a few of them back signed and very inspiring. In the letter I sent, I wrote that I had cancer and that drawing the caricature inspired me, which it did. Nothing felt so good then to receive a caricature signed by the celebrity I actually drew. It felt like Christmas every time I opened a manila envelope.

Eventually I found better addresses and more current ones in magazines and Star Archive.com (now StarTiger.com). After about 14 years of drawing and collecting addresses and sending out sase’s (self-addressed stamped envelopes - you don’t expect a celebrity you ask for an autograph from to pay for postage, do you?)I have quite an eclectic collection. I have donated some to charity auctions and hung some up on a few walls at home. I am hoping to have an entire room dedicated to the caricatures that are signed. But that is still a dream.