Just Trying to Be a Human Dean

Monday, May 10, 2010

Problems with Students: Part One

Being a teacher, the above title seems redundant. There are ALWAYS problems with a student, a few students, many students, the whole class even. I guess it took me to see what the other side was like to understand what teachers have to contend with. I also think that back in the day when I was a student, there was no discussion or “plan of action” for a misbehaving student. They either did the work, or they failed.

Today is different though. I am not going to dwell on the psychological or the pill-poppers that we have as students nowadays. No, there really is no way I can say in all honesty to choose sides, as I was a kid that took allergy medicine for years. It did mess me up, and I still have allergies, but I treated my teachers with respect or maybe it was just fear. See back then it was you against the teacher, and the teacher held all the cards. My Mom and Dad sided with the teacher all the time. It was not her fault that I could not comprehend basic Calculus…it was mine. So I failed on my own and I had to make up the work on it too. To this day, I really have no clue what that class helps me to do today. The only lesson I learned is that failure is sometimes a good thing. I will explain more on that later.

Now I am in “the controller’s seat”. I decide what the students will do and how they will accomplish their respective goals. I have students of various abilities and their own problems. A few students though that do have problems have a domineering parent that is on top of everything the kid does. Then you have the other type of student that has the parent that thinks the child is the next great wonder of the world, and can do no wrong. I have to admit that this year I have the good fortune of having both examples sprinkled adamantly across my teaching schedule.

The purpose of this blog is not to tell tales or cause a rift between students and teachers and administration. No the purpose is that there are solutions to these problems, but we are not looking at possible ways of solving it.

Let’s start with a big issue: Attention Deficit Disorder. ADD is new only because recently it has been diagnosed as such. I grew up with kids that could very well have been diagnosed with it, but it was not known at the time. It is a real thing and I can understand a parent’s concern about it. BUT there are ways to overcoming this situation. One, the child has to work at learning. Two, the child has to work on concentration. These skills are detrimental to overcoming ADD. Yes, the brain thinks differently, but you can still get the same answer in different ways. The child can take a different test until the cows come home, but the real change would be to let the child handle the problem-solving to the child. The worst thing a parent can do is say that their child cannot possibly do that work, without even knowing if they can do it. Even if they just heard what the test would be about, I was shut down and told in front of the student himself, that he is not capable of doing that work. The test was barely or even remotely into scope when the mother is vehemently saying that their son could never handle a test like that. To have an incident where there is some trepidation about an upcoming test, that the whole world will explode if this kid fails seems humorous. Failure is not a badge of dishonor, it is a wake-up call.

Basically the mother is selling the son short. The son soaks all this in and realizes that he does not have to actually commit to learning at all, due to the fact that his mom will fight his battles for him and he can go on and play video games at home instead of studying. Does the mother realize that this is the tone she is setting for her son?

So some concessions have to be made. A “special test” has to be made for him and one entire category is left off. It is not an undetermined pop quiz, the child has the information, he or she can study and ask questions and the take mini- quizzes with the rest of class. But when the real test comes, will this child be leveled with his peers? The answer is no, the child is just passed along to the next grade and nothing is really solved.

To me this is not the correct solution, but for the time being, it can only be the only option. If the child would take the info and work at the worksheets with the same pace as the other students, I think he might have a better chance of overcoming his downfall. What we are doing instead is avoiding the big elephant in the room, which is failure. So instead of just one test, I am giving pop quizzes to the class. It keeps the brain fresh and caught up in facts. This will help the child to know the material and learn to succeed not only on the test but in life. A well-rehearsed and prepared student can accomplish any formidable task.

Now that seems easy, but there are obstacles strewn about for this student. The biggest one that I know of is not a lack of skill or lack of aptitude of learning, it is the parent’s involvement. It usually is not a lack of help the child is in, but a bit of overbearing onto the student. Parents seem more worried about a bad grade then the child. The parents think this is a lack of “parental guidance” and are shamed into thinking that. No, it is because your child did not grasp the concept of what the main point of learning was, to LEARN. How do you learn? By your mistakes. You see it might seem like a strange fortune cookie message, but in reality to fail, actually helps you to learn. Think of a baby learning to walk. If that baby stumbles and falls down, the parent doesn’t rush to the child and never make them walk again. That would be ridiculous. So why do we have mothers and fathers frantically pull their child out of classes or demand that retests are taken or oral exams given. This is in no way a reflection on the child’s bearing if he or she failed a math test. So why do we make excuses for our children’s missteps, downturns, failures?  By failing we have the chance to really understand why.

Now I hope that none of my student’s are going to fail my test in two weeks. That is why we are having quizzes to see if they are studying correctly. If the info I had given them sticks then I have done my job. No more of the “why do we have to do this?” arguments. We do these tests because it is their future on the line. Even if they have no interest in knowing that Grant Wood painted American Gothic or that Vincent Van Gogh painted in the post-impressionist style. These tests will help in future years on how to study, how to handle stress, how to be successful in your future education.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Oscar,Oscar,Oscar….Let’s hope there is no balogna

Well today is the day that Hollywood makes itself feel wanted and noticed. Look at me! Look at Me!!!!!! Tonight actually, is the 82nd Oscar presentation for the best movies that critics really liked.

Of course it has nothing to do with regular folks like you or me. We are just spectators watching all the pretty people go to the prom, while we sit home and eat microwave popcorn and Cousin’s Subs in sweatpants. Wait…I think that hit a nerve….nope I just sat on a pen.

Anyway, Here are my Oscar predictions. I have only seen two of the movies and my only knowledge of the nominated films are from my subscription to Entertainment Weekly. On another tangent, if they publish another freaking coverstory about Twilight, I am canceling the subscription and scream. We get it, teenagers relate to vampires, let’s move on.

For Best Supporting Actor and Actress in a film….I am predicting Mo’Nique for her role as a parent I would not want to have at a parent/teacher meeting in the movie Precious. Very gritty, really scary and unlike the jovial Mo’Nique we know as the happy, comedienne. For best Supporting Actor I am going out on a limb. It is a race between choosing Matt Damon or Christoph Waltz, the guy who plays the Nazi. Usually the category goes to an actor that is off the wall….so I go with Waltz, the goofy Gestapo Guy.

Best Animated movie. Hands down it is UP! Reason: it was nominated for best Picture and it won’t win there so it will win in the category it was designed to win for specifically. 

Art Direction, Visual Effects, Editing, Sound Mixing, all those categories go to Avatar. Lots of bells and whistles in that movie and it will be honored for breaking through technology that makes some people sick after watching the movie. I did not get sick. I did not see the movie either, so I cannot judge. But I do know that James Cameron really made a lot of money for 9 foot tall blue marmot-people who are essentially, deep down,  just like us.

Best Actress. This is a category that I usually know right away if they will win. Plus it is good to have a former flame nominated. So I gotta go with her.  Sandra Bullock gets the Oscar. I remember on some dates, usually after we would be sitting around wearing our swatpants and eating microwave popcorn and Cousin’s Subs, Sandy would look up at me, which is funny, cause she is taller then me, and ask “When will I win an Oscar?” And I would say to her ....“Soon, very soon.” Then she hightailed it to Texas and married a hillbilly auto mechanic and that was that. No hard feelings though. Congrats Sweetie!

Best Actor. I gotta go with Jeff Bridges. Acting legend, son of an acting legend, brother of an acting legend. Plus the movie is so low-key and depressing, he has to win. Clooney won before. Freeman won before. Firth and Renner, maybe next time, but my solid lock to win for the night is Jeff Bridges. The other guesses are solid too but this is more solid-er.

Finally my prediction for Best Picture and Director. Usually both win at the same time. This year marks 10 nominees for Best Picture. I don’t think it will matter though. I am predicting Katheryn Bigelow and her film The Hurt Locker to win both categories. Why? I think that Avatar is a great concept film and very technical, but the plot is slow and methodical. The Hurt Locker is a unique story, and it could use the buzz to get it going at the box office. Plus it would give the ladies on the View something to chew on for the next couple of weeks having the ex-wife of James Cameron knocking the snot out of him, not once but twice. My award show has a first name it’s O…S…C…A…R. My award show has a second name R..E…V…E…N…G…E!

There you have it my predictions for the 2010 Oscars and I have it typed and blogged at 3:15 pm Sunday March 7.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Mid-Winter Malaise

I am kind of down lately. Yeah, I know the holidays are over and it is back to school. But that is not it.

It really is not about my other job as it is, just a job. I am talking about the library. I like it most of the time and enjoy the patrons for the most part. I am lucky to have a job in fact as most people who come into the library right now, have none and would rather sit his or her lives away watching dvd’s of old movies. I guess I would be the guy to look for a new job instead of just watching old Steven Segal movies and American Pie sequels. I mean if I’m going to the library anyway…why not check the internet for some possibilities or the want ads….but I got a job and I talk smart now.

Maybe it is about school. It is report card time and the kids are just kind of antsy. Some will get the good grades and some will not. This year I had to drop the F bomb. I should have, but I could not pull the trigger. In fact I should have done it twice. But I am too kindhearted.

Maybe it is the warmer weather. It is in the twenties but that is warm for January in Wisconsin. I should be enjoying it but I just sometimes feel that there is an impending doom out there. Not global warming…but something. Something out in the winds of winter that wants to wreck havoc on my soul and being….

Okay that is too scary and poetic.

Maybe I am in a malaise. President Carter had that. I feel like I do as much as I can and I feel like I am unappreciated. It seems to be narrowed in on the school front. We are working on the Mini-Golf holes and it seems this group as a whole is just plain lazy. Now there are few that do what I ask of them. But there are some others that are just plain lackadaisical. Today was the last day to work on them and I had not one, not two, not three, but four people who did squat on their respective hole for 18 weeks! Now I have to grade them. What do I do? They basically found as much time as possible to goof around and avoid actual work for the class period that I ended up making 4 holes myself. Needless to say I think I hit the nail on the head.

So I think this will be the last year that I will do the Mini-Golf Class. No one in class cared that much for it, and this next class I have coming in to replace them, I do not even want to attempt it. If this group now is lazy, this next one would surely be lazier. I just do not want to deal with that again. I made two years of Mini-Golf, I can rest easily. 

It felt good letting that out. But I still feel a malaise. Maybe it is all the peanut butter I eat?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Blast from the Past!

Hello! It has been awhile hasn’t it?

Well, I have an excuse. I have been busy. Besides teaching and working and creating art for the masses, I have just tying to eek out a living. It is hard in this economy so I will give you, the best blog readers in the whole internet world, my tips to stay prevalent and prosperous for 2010. make note that I am just giving tips and some might not work out.

1. Create something everyday. That is right! Doodle on a napkin, make a sandwich, read a book, write a letter. Just some idea that you can do to get those creative juices flowing. By the way, where exactly are the juices and what makes them creative?

2. Surf the web for only 2 hours a day. You heard me, I am cutting my own throat here. But the less time you spend on the computer checking facebook and myspace, the more time that you can be creative! Please note, that does not count for blog writers. they have to be on the internet for longer then two hours. Sorry….

3. Carry a notepad in your pocket.

4. Make sure you jot down idea in that notebook. What the heck? Are you happy to see me or is it a notebook in your pocket? Write down the ideas!

5. Do not get discouraged. Yeah disappointment happens to all of us. Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime. But instead of chopping off your ear, use that sadness or anger for energy to create! Now that sounds stupid, but I needed something for number 5.

6. Eat a good breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day. I know! Some of my students in the morning look like and act like the living dead. They would rather be sleeping. Ha! If I can’t sleep, nobody will! So grab that oatmeal and chow down with a piece of toast.

7. Take a nice brisk walk. Let all your phalanges swing and move. I know that sounded weird, but if you get moving you might not have to wait until that oatmeal and toast kick in.

8. Enjoy the little things in life. A sunrise. A sunset. A flock of ducks in a V-shape. A person waving to you. Making sure that you are on the sidewalk and not on the road when a semi-trailer is right on top of——Look Out!

9. Read books. The best inspiration comes from books. Television is nice but there has been no good ideas on tv since 1986. It is true I looked it up.

10. Take this list of ideas for what it is…just a list. It is not the golden magna carte of inspiration. Hardly….it is just something to help you have a chuckle or two before the real creativity kicks in. So get creative by your own methods. Now I am going to watch tv.

Until next time….Your guide to creativity-Dean

Monday, January 11, 2010

New Year: Dealing with Same Kid Problems

Well this is my first official entry to the new year and it only took 11 days for me to figure it out! So hey, that is a good thing.

Anyway, since I last wrote, I thought I should give you a heads-up on what is going on now in my life. Now don’t turn away! Yeah you, I saw you reaching for that mouse. Just sit tight and you may learn something.
I am still teaching kindergarten through eighty grade art at St. Peter the Fisherman. This is a tough time as the kids are no more interested in art as a cat would be interested in calculus. I know about this as I did not do well in my calculus class….and i am not a cat. Anyway, I have either middle-schoolers and the older kids thinking it is a grand to just have a social time and finding out what they had done over the weekend. This here, is what I like to say is the problem. You see, Mondays is the time i teach art. No one wants to go to school on Monday so no one is really prepared to be taught art when basically it is more fun to talk and laugh with their friends. The thing is that all week they talk to their friends constantly, either face-to-face, texting, email, or the old stand-by, the phone. Plus in all the weekend activities they have, they never see anyone except the friends in school! Plus they do not clean up after themselves.

The younger kids I can take. For one thing they show respect. Or they could be just scared. Either way, 90% of them listen to me. The other 10% fall into the category of being too young, or on Ritalin. Normally at this time of the year they know who I am and they might have seen me at the library or at church or at the grocery store, so it is really no big deal for them. But there are a few kids that are basically ” just let them be”, and that is what the teacher in their homeroom advises. Kind of sad really, as this is the time in their young life, that could make a big change for the better, but of course who will bother with that. I could, but for 30 minutes a week…the Miracle Worker I am not. For the majority of the younger classes, I really enjoy teaching them. They at least listen to me and they clean up swell too.

So here lies a dilemma or paradox. Who are the best kids to teach? On one hand you have young minds ready to mold into great artists. They do not have the basic skills and they lack proper classroom etiquette but all in all a very rewarding feeling is had when I teach them. On the other hand, you have kids that have the skills and the talents to accomplish many things.  They just do not show the confidence or patience needed to become a good artist. They also tend to blow off art as a “special” class. It still counts toward your G.P.A., but that lesson usually sets in around the end of the quarter when report cards are handed in. Like I said, they can accomplish the goal, but they would rather play and goof around and then whine about their grade later. This is the older kids I am talking about.

So in both cases there are good points and bad points to consider. I like to think that there are good days and bad days to teaching, but sometimes the bad days seem to outnumber the good. Like today for instance. I have a group of 7th graders that do nothing but talk and laugh and entertain themselves instead of doing their work of course. I had warned them that reports cards are coming, but there is no sign of urgency. I had students who fool around with materials and throw things at others. I have had kids actually listen to me too. They actually finish the project and wait for more instructions.

Maybe it is because the winter months are blah to them. They get cabin fever or they are just restless. Maybe I would have the same response if I taught math. Which would be a very interesting class…I do not do well with numbers. Plus they are just kids. I have to remember that and try my best to get the big ideas I have to their young minds. I guess I should feel better that I might have made a difference in 75% of the students’ lives, but it is that quarter percentage that bugs me, and it really should not. I give only what I can and if the studnt shuns my experience…what can I do?

In conclusion I hope I do not have to choose between the two days I teach students. I like them both and I enjoy the way that I can enhance their creativity. I enjoy teaching kids and for the most part I think kids like to learn from me. I guess it is all a manner of getting the idea across to a new generation that if you work hard you can achieve any goal you want, you just have to work hard for it. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

R, E, S, P, E, C, T’eed Off

Just a funny time of the year, or maybe it is just a fluke, but have you noticed that people do not want to take it? I am not talking about the Twisted Sister song or the Johnny Paycheck country and or western hit, “Take this job, and shove it”. What I was trying to get a handle on lately, was the need for people to always have the last word, or insert their own two cents, or like the Kindergarten teacher might say, “Earn a time-out.”

It seems that this is nothing new. People have been chewing out each other since the Dawn of Time. But there was a considerable time that a respectful person, gives “props” or just plain respect to those that are in authority or celebration.

I think about this after coming home from school. I teach. Middle school kids. Kindergarten kids. Grade School Kids. All three groups. In one classroom, but not at the same time. I have noticed a attitude lately emanating from them, yes even the cute Kindergartners. So I was thinking, where does this “in-your-face” attitude come from? To quote an archaic reference, POGO, “We have seen the enemy and it is us.”

A Congressman blurts out, “You lie!” to the President when he is giving a speech to Congress. That would be unheard or even unfathomable to comprehend. True Point: Originally that was what the Minority Whip’s job was, to whip the usurpers. (Not really, but I wanted to see if you were paying attention…) To be called on the carpet in such a childish way, is unthinkable. The President deserves respect no matter what you might disagree with his ideas, he is our President and he is doing his job. It is not the responsibility of a Congressman to usurp a speech. Plus in such a way, it is very disrespectful. and shows contempt. By doing so, what do you gain? The reputation of a classless discontent? But there are more examples…

A tennis star is upset about a judge’s ruling. It happens quite often. But the polished player moves on and does better or works it out to continue playing. Serena Williams got caught up in the moment. Maybe she felt wronged by the ruling. Just let it go and move on. But to harass a judge to complain about a call is very childish. To then threaten the judge is worse. You are a professional athlete and endorsements and fame is your lifeblood, but you play in a sport that is against 2 people at a time, your equally competitive opponent and the line judge. Some might say you are also playing against yourself. But when you become professional, you take the understanding that what officials say sticks. There is no challenge or instant replay in tennis. You take what they give and you ask for another. It is a hard pill to swallow, but it is a lot more fulfilling then cleaning out a deep fryer (I know at least about). This prima donna attitude and this wronged entity defense is growing old and it stinks.

Both instances take on the “establishment” and how the Renegades and mavericks are not going to take it anymore! But what does the “unjustified” have to gain for such contempt? Serena still is considered one of the best tennis players in the world, but now she has the rep for being a whiner or a hothead. The Congressman, well he is labeled an idiot by some and a hero to others. But why? Because they literally took Johnny Paycheck’s vision of sticking it to the man! The problem is, they look like 1980’s hillbilly truckers doing just that. What ever happened to RESPECT and in some ways SHAME. If someone were to do the same things 30 years ago, there would be a big comeuppance attributed to the purveyor of the bad attitude. Today, they are looked upon as a hero or noble fighter, instead of the whiner and baby that they are.

I was going to end this little observation on that note but then Kanye West pushed his way into this discussion. He thinks this blog is “wonderful” but apparently he thinks someone’s is better and deserves the accolades. Where the heck Kanye came from to disrupt my typing I do not know. I doubt that he was sitting on the steps reading the newspaper. But this is another example of people not knowing when to shut up.

A person gets an award. That is a sign or celebration. If you have nothing to do with it, you have no say. If you are not in the category, you have nothing to say. If they hardly show videos anymore on Mtv, why do we care? It shows a lack or respect and adulthood to get up on stage and say that someone else should have won the award. Who the heck are you? Are you the extreme judgment caller on things that should win? To be that way, you would think you do more in your music then go “uh-huh, uh-huh….yeah, yeah”. But apparently you must know something we do not, that Beyonce had a better video that I have never seen, then Taylor Swift did, which I have never seen also. It is like choosing between escargot and caviar, two things I never ate and probably will never eat in in my lifetime.

I do not care for this trend of “Listen to me! I have an opinion. Listen to MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!” Yes, we have websites. Yes, we have blogs. But let’s keep the opinions on that. We do not have to make the whole world a place to air condescension and ridicule, we have plenty of that already without the addition of more.

The best advice I ever had, was from my father. “I never trouble trouble, unless trouble troubles me.” Hopefully Serena, Congressman Blurt and Kanye might learn from this quote. If that doesn’t work how about this, “Don’t worry, be Happy?”

R, E, S, P, E, C, T…find out what it means to be.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Library Day 1 2009

I am a three-job man. Don’t be alarmed.

I guess I have to explain myself. For some that know me, you know that I work as a teacher and as an artist and as a librarian. All honest and good even-tempered occupations. Yeah right! Ever deal with a third grader on a crying jag that can’t open a glue bottle? But I digress as I am talking here today about the third occupation I have, public librarian.

Now before I get into the good stuff, let me explain my job. I am a finder. Actually the correct title is CIRCULATION DESK ATTENDANT. I check in and check out books, dvd’s, cd’s, videos and magazines. I find books that are lost, books that are put aside for people, I find people in a computer data-base and explain to them that they cannot, for the good of the entire population of Two Rivers, Wisconsin (around 10,000) check out more then 5 cd’s and 3 dvd’s at a time. Now for the “super smart” people out in the crowd, you might say, “Okay, I will check out three on Wednesday and then on Thursday (or “Tursday” as I hear that quite often in Two Rivers) come back and get three more!” It is amazing that people can eaily think of nefarious plans, but it is hardr to think of ideas with good intentions. But I digress….

No the computer is sovereign here. It tells us who has fines, when things are to be returned and how many items are checked out. So if a potential Nobel Prize Laureate does try the 3 dvd’s and 3 dvd’s make three argument, the computer will tell me so and I will have to ask if they returned their dvd’s. I use dvd’s as an example because you can get up to 7 videos per week, 5 cd’s for 3 weeks plus up to 75 books for 3 weeks. Only a few have tried to accomplish this goal. They are in the Idiot Hall of Fame. The entry forms are at the front desk at the library.

So besides the people who pull the old “Dvd’s? I don’t have jack squat!” routine, I deal with the people who say they returned items but it is not checked in. Now I can see if the computer could miss a book here and there. But I had one lady today complain about the fact that she had found a book that she returned and the computer said she still had on the shelves. For four weeks in a row. That means every week when she returned items, the computer missed her books. On purpose! So she is yelling at a fellow employee and I think to myself, “At least I am not getting yelled at and I wonder if this lady is bringing in the books after she had gotten the fine and “found” them on the shelves?” Now in some ways when I think like that and mention this to my supervisor, she explains that NO the computer is glitched and people are honest and I think the worst of people and that I am going straight to hell for even thinking that. On a side note, I never thought that those kind of thoughts would send me to hell. I was raised Catholic and I don’t think there was any mention of that in 16 years of Catholic School. Or maybe I was sick that day?

To be honest, we put computers on a pedestal and say that they are great and infallible and yet when we find an error or problem computers have glitches and errors and are stupid. But we are the ones that make errors and we are not stupid, at least not all the time. Here is my example:

I dealt with a person today that there is no better word for her then a PUTZ. She comes into the library to put up a display of her work. We have two cabinets that can house a person’s collection or work for a month and this lady has this month’s display. First I had to open up the cabinet, I went around my desk to get the keys and open them up. Then as i sat down she needed a scissors. Fine, I gave her the pair we keep behind the desk. Then she puts a few things on display and then says she is going home to make her husband lunch. Fine, I will lock it up. She may come back. Fine, but where is my scissors? Oh, she put in it the display case. So I unlock the display case to get the scissors. She then said she will bring in some more stuff later. Fine.

Two minutes after she leaves she brings in another box of her stuff. “Might as well put these up as they were in my car.” Fine, I get the keys to unlock the cases and as I go back to my desk, she is leaving.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to make my husband a lunch!”

“What are you going to do with the box? Are you leaving it here?”

“Well yeah, can you watch it?”

“No, I am working here not watching your stuff.”

“Well I got to eat now. I am Hypoglycemic. And so is my husband.”

“I am not watching your stuff, and I am not taking it back to my desk.”

“Fine. I will have to hope he can make a meal for himself.” She starts to work and I go back to my desk where a line of people are waiting to get checked out or yell at me. One or the other.

All of a sudden, my new best friend pushes through the line and comes up to my desk and asks for the scissors again. I wanted to throw it at her. I didn’t though…but I wanted to!

After my line of people were all checked out, I take a peek to see what kind of stuff she is putting in the display cases. She reaches inside the box and pulls out a 2 foot sculpture, made out of sandstone. Now sandstone no matter how you finish it, it is still sand! It can scratch anything.

“How strong do you think the glass shelves are here?”

“Not strong enough to hold that! Put it on the bottom of the case.”

“But that goes against the theme I was going for?”

I wanted to say, “Tough!” but I just left. I went back to my desk while she humphed and hawed and packed up her stuff so she could fix her hypoglycemic husband a sandwich. Of course I had to come around and lock the cabinets but I remembered to first grab the scissors before locking the doors to the display cases.

She goes. Hooray!

Then she came back and I had to do the same darn thing again!

The public who come to the library think we just sit around all day and read old books. I wish! I check in books, look at items returned to see if they needed to be fixed, deal with irate patrons, handle fines, look for “misplaced” items, put items on hold for others, find books, dvd’s, whatever a patron wants, check the bulletin board for new signs, check the bathrooms to make sure some kid did not take his teenage aggression out on a urinal or toilet, and mostly deal with the public. yes i get yelled at quite often, but hey it is a living.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Wonder of it All

When I was a kid, I was amazed at many things. I saw things that blew my mind and could not at all figure out the “how” and “why” and then the “what” was still stuck in the way. Not to say that I saw a lot of stuff, in no way am I saying that I am like the old geezer crouched over in a chair and telling a bunch young’uns about the first time I saw a person breathing on their own and standing upright…..

“Ohhh, Ahhh!” the young’uns would say…....

No I was born in the Seventies and grew up in the Eighties. I saw the personal computer come into existence. At that time all the kids had to learn how the computer worked with charts and steps and using the zero with a slash in it otherwise the computer thought it was an “Oh” instead of a zero. We started with 10 START and then ended with 30 STOP to make a square on the screen. How the heck did that become the Halo and instant communication to a girl across the world we have to today? Amazing!

I remember as a kid that certain records would never get broken. Hank Aaron’s record for Home Runs would stand the test of time, but of course that was said before technology made it possible to make a skinny 150 pound outfielder turn into a 250 pound behemoth first baseman with no neck. Roger Maris’ record was also shattered the same way. The most Touchdowns thrown in a season, the most TD’s ever thrown, the most catches, interceptions, fastest races, hardest punch, blah, blah blah the list can go on and on. Almost all the records I remember as a kid are all broken and stepped over like yesterday’s news.

I remember the amount of coverage when the President would visit a foreign country or go into diplomatic talks or summits. That was news. Now it is a footnote unless if someone takes a shot at him or that there is such a protest or both. When did the United States become the bad guy? It seems to me that being an American now, means that you stand up proud but you make sure you look peripherally around in case someone is sneaking up behind you ready to knock you down. When did the world, scoff at the mere mention of hope?

I am only 35 years old. I lived a fairly interesting life with one cancer scare, high cholesterol, 4 sibling weddings, numerous concerts and art shows, trips to a couple of great cities, foods that are so flavorful and appealing, songs and music that are memorable by only a few notes. To think that I have lived through so much in technically such a short time in a lifetime is amazing! I saw the Fall of the Berlin Wall, Communism, the American economy, numerous marriages, things that were supposed to be solid and firm forever.

I guess in all the experiences of my life I have to say that the one constant, and it is a cliche….is change. Change is good. Change keeps the human race going and makes us who we are supposed to be. I am just one human being on a planet filled with them and I am expressing my opinion on a machine that I as a child, thought was so monotonous and confining that I tried for years avoiding it.

So maybe in some ways I am like that old geezer explaining to young-uns about life’s pitfalls. I am no better then anybody else, I am just trying to be the best person a person can be. A Human Being. Make that a Human Dean.

Having a Snoooooowwwwww Day! Observations

Now I don’t tend to be the guy that jumps ahead of the game and is almost sure of certain things. I am a realist and I try not to get my hopes up too high. But from all likelihood, tomorrow will be a SNOW DAY!!!!!

Ahhh….. the greatest two words for a Midwestern kid. Snow Day! Basically everything is put on hold or canceled until the snow or storm or both pass and all the streets and highways and sidewalks are safe to travel on. Now it seems that we are in my section of the world, (Northeast Wisconsin- better yet, if Wisconsin looks like a left handed glove, the knuckle of the thumb is where I hail from) it is expected to be dumped with 8-12 INCHES of snow. Plus Lake effect snow is not even counted yet.

Now obviously if you don’t live in this area and have no idea what I am talking about, I will explain.

1) Because Wisconsin is near Lake Michigan, a magical snow storm can go on and on as the storm feeds off the moisture in the Lake causing more snow. This snow is fluffier and light but still does not add to the original prediction of the normal downfall of snow. It has something to do with Science and Pressure and I have really no idea why, just that it happens. So I like to think that it is like magic and let that go as is.

2) When schools are shut down usually the library has to stay open, unless if it can been seen as a danger to patrons to get to the library. Granted sometimes the occasional patron will travel 20 miles to get to the library, we are usually quite observant on how the roads are and how safe WE are to go home. We have many staff people that live outside of the Two Rivers area and if there is a big storm here, usually it is worse out in the country. So technically, when the schools shut down, which was my main thought, kids have no where to go, but the library, to hang out. Now there is no school within 1 mile of the library and if the stupid, sorry “observant” kid wants to wallow at the library, we have to provide that service. So I am hoping we close the library for the day too.

3) With all the talk about childhood obesity on the rise, why do we have kids sitting at the library? In a perfect world, when the schools shut down, the kids should be sent home and those same kids should get out the shovels and shovel their way to fitness by clearing out the driveways for their folks to come home too, instead of playing the PlayStation and eating marshmallows. Have the kids shovel and get them working off that fat. Then after it is cleared, take a nap or whatever. Just clear the sidewalks, kids!

4) I remember a snow day back in 1983. It was a 1/2 Snow day, much more cruel then a no snow day. Basically you had the morning off, but somehow you had to find the way to get to school after lunch because, well there was so much more to learn in 2 hours. So after sleeping in, then getting up and playing in the snow then eating a lunch, I, yes it is true, walked a mile to school in a snowstorm. I was in third grade! And I did it by myself! It was the greatest accomplishment in my life up to then. All the teachers we surprised and proud of me that I did that. “Did you hear Dean Konop walked all the way over here?” “He is one super strong kid!” Granted I was ticked off as no one wanted to give me a ride to school and hitch-hiking (my original idea) was thrown out the conversation by my parents.

So I became a folk hero to the 3rd graders at St. Mark’s for those two hours. I, a young, strapping 9 year-old with big glasses, walked to the school in a snowstorm, by myself! Ha-ha nothing could stop my momentum. Except…..

Sr. Marita!!!! She had to be the worst teacher ever. She joined the convent when she was 8 and never developed a conscience. To her all the students were like ants… to step on. Parents would specifically pull their children out of her class and school so they would not have her as a teacher. I on the other hand, had Sr. Marita, or Sr. Meanie as we cleverly called her as my reading group teacher. Not the most caring and nurturing person in the school. She once smacked a kid for reading Jose as “joe-see”.

Anyway, Sr, Marita made it to school on her broom, and when she saw a half-full classroom of scared kids, she thought she would show that scary humor that made her oh so famous.

“Who here slept in later?” I and a small group of kids raised our hands.

“Who here played in the snow?” I also raised my hand with some kids.

Immediately Sr. Marita pounced on my desk like a hyena cornering it’s prey. “How could you sleep in AND play in the snow? That is impossible!” In reality she really looked like the lady who was the original Wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz.

I said I did.

Right before she could smack me, the bell rang and I quickly grabbed my reader and notebooks and numerous folders and pens we were supposed to bring and ran to form a line. The other kids followed and made sure to camouflage their folk hero in an array of Tuffkins and corduroy. As the witch, I mean Sr. Marita came closer, the bell rang again and we all stampeded to the hall. Sr. was on my tail demanding an explanation. Finally I arrived with my class to my homeroom where my teacher said in a reassuring voice, “How was reading class?”

“That one lied to me!!!!!!” Sr. Marita would not let it go. Finally my homeroom teacher said that I, in fact, did walk the mile to school and maybe in my goofy 9 year-old mind, thought the walk was playing and was in fact it was in the snow, so he is telling the truth.

At that very moment, Sr. Marita cringed, much like a vampire seeing the break of sunlight, and recoiled to her classroom full of gullible third graders learning long division. The folk hero lived on.

Amazing but true!!!!!!!

I was just watching the CBS Evening news just awhile ago. Yes I am in love with Katie Couric…..you caught me. Seriously though CBS just had a story about cancer cures on the web. 145 million people search the web for answers to their health problems. The problem of course is that there is so much misinformation about cures, and therapy that some people are taken advantage of the entire situation.

I guess that I was lucky as I was diagnosed with cancer before the internet boom. It was in 1995 and I thought I had a constant bloody nose. I went to the doctor who did not like the looks of the inside of my nose (who would?) and sent me to a ENT doctor. After a biopsy, the consensus was clear———-I had cancer. Inoperable cancer as it was in the sinuses and had a stem near the brain. Only three people in the United States had had it and I was the only one alive with it. YIKES!

So I basically asked what’s next? One doctor said I should go to Madison or Iowa or even the Mayo clinic. Then the treatment would be as follows: They would make a slice in the back of my head, lift over my face, dig out the tumor, push back the face, sew me up and hope that I only lose 4 of the 5 senses…...

Yeah.

Don’t we only have 5 senses?

Losing 4 of them would kind of bite. I said if there were any options besides the reverse lobotomy-job they described. The “proper authorities” in this matter said no because this is how it always should go. Now remember that there were 2 other patients that had this type of cancer. And not to be a jerk but THEY DIED!!!!!!!! Now some hotshot doctor said I have to go through this because essentially “three times a charm”? :crazy:

I hate to quote the Olsen Twins, but “No way Jose!”

I took extensive chemotherapy and 28 treatments of radiation. My chemo therapy on the second round (because the first round did squat) lasted a week at a time. I had to stay in the hospital for my doses and eventually I could take a pack of it and go “mobile” which if you ever had chemo before you usually get back in the groove of things and decide to climb Mt. Rainier and swim the Atlantic in all the same afternoon. :no: Chemo makes you restless and goofy and tired and icky and sick. I do not wish it on anyone.

But chemo kills cells. Period. And no matter how many cells that are healthy and doing fine that are lost, chemo kills the bad cancer cells that are growing in everyone’s body. Some people don’t know that. We all have these cells in our bodies and some never show up as the C-word at all.

Another c-word I had going was Chelation. Basically with all the toxins from chemo and radiation in my body, I needed that to get out of my system. So this is an alternative medicine and it worked for me. But everyone is different. Basically you are hooked up to a saline drip and for 4 hours you get this in your system and then you pee it all out. Does it work? Well I am still here.

In fact the original diagnosis was that I had 6 weeks to live. Well I am on my 13th year of recovery. The funny thing is that the week-long chemo sessions that I had to stay in the hospital for? They can now be done in one hour. So I truly feel that Cancer will be cured in the future.

Now in no way do I promote my particular way of handling cancer, because it is outdated and we know so much more about the disease. But I figured that this is my answer to Ms. Couric’s story. Yes, we read as a family every book on health and cancer fighters we could and yes we ate broccoli and cauliflower and drank Asiatic Tea made out of kelp. But I really think what cured me is faith in God and my family. I prayed with my mom, dad and my younger sister every night and I have to say this experience strengthened my relationship with God and my family.

So that is my miracle cure for cancer. Having faith in others and God. Sure the chemo and radiation and the tea and so on may have contributed to it, but I really think that faith is the strongest weapon we have when we are in the darkest of times.

Let Today Be Known as Mel Brooks Day!

Happy Mel Brooks Day to you! Now why would I say that when everyone and his or her grandmother know that today is just the day before Thanksgiving, which is also the unofficial start of the Holiday season. In fact I think Thanksgiving is overlooked as a holiday.

Why? Look at the stores and all the local downtowns in the United States. Doesn’t matter where you live, you will see Christmas trees and Santa Clauses and Reindeer and maybe a manger, depending on how tolerant your city is (that is another idea for a blog article). But guess what, Today is NOVEMBER 26th!!!!! Yes it is less then a mere month away, Christmas is in the forefront on pretty much everyone’s minds.

In fact, most people eat the turkey and the trimmings and then dig into the local newspapers to find the best bargains of the season. “Where can I find a wii cheaper than Wal-Mart?” Those types of questions are asked. We have forgotten what our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, great-great grandparents and so on, taught us. How lucky we are to live in this country. How we are, for the most part, safe in our homes, and how we have friends and family around to keep us company. Not every American can say this but I for one can say, “Thank you for letting me be who I am. And in this great land I can be a better me.”

Yes I am lucky, but I can’t say that for everyone. We have jobless, homeless, sickness, hunger, and a slew of other problems in this country. Why should we be thankful for that? Well because all those things can be solved, not easily done, but as Americans we can do it!

Now here comes the connection with Mel Brooks. The day before Thanksgiving for me was wonderful. No school so I slept in late turned on the tv and watched the end of The Producers. It was great watching the show, eating Cheerios, just not having to dread the future, just enjoying the moment. After the movie was done, I switched the channels and another Mel Brooks movie was on! Men in Tights, the Robin Hood spoof. I watched that for awhile and really felt better.

After Achoo’s speech I decided to get going, take a shower, get dressed and then off to do some chores. And everything went as planned. Was it because of Mel Brooks? Was it because of my free day? I think it had to do with Thanksgiving but because it had nothing to do with turkeys, I am officially calling today and everyday before Thanksgiving, MEL BROOKS DAY!

So enjoy a movie before all the hubbub and commercialism gets in the way! Or just try to relax and enjoy life. Mel would want you to do so.

What is the deal with Reality TV?

Everyone Loves Reality TV. That is what all the headlines say. Yes we are enamored by the winners of Survivor or the Great Race or even Dancing with The Star. But to me….eh? I am not that big on the reality part. I mean yes it can be excruciating and painful and even moderately embarrassing but the people on these shows ask for it. If they did not want all the negative buzz from these shows, DON’T SIGN UP! Simple as that.

Now take for instance a reality show about a couple who have twin girls and a bunch of other kids due to fertility drugs. I am not even going to mention the name of the show because you probably know it. To me, this is just a cry for attention. yes I can see you need help raising 8 children, but why in the world would you let a camera crew, a producer and maybe a director in your house to show the world that you can not handle it? Yes I know the money was tempting and the storyline was appealing, but you didn’t think that the camera would show the you and your spouse in a “Gee I don’t know” look all the time?

I give them credit for raising a family but to let the whole world see that you cannot control the whims of a 3 year old little girl who won’t eat her Mickey Mouse pancakes in Disney World, just makes you look like you have no clue how to handle any problem whatsoever. Did they get a big kick back from the show to see how much crap the kids can pull in Walt’s house? Do the cameramen sneak Spree with Kool Aid into the kids before the cameras roll? This is just an awful mess.

Then you have all the dating shows with not even B list celebrities. Flavor Flav, what the heck are you thinking? You are not an attractive man, the money has gone away and you have a grill in your mouth which ironically only makes your crazy eyes not as scary. Or maybe it does. Maybe a fifth season of this show is way too much for what the public can handle.

But I am only one voice. I like my shows with a story and not some sick twisted yell fest that Jerry Springer popularized 10 years ago.

We now return you to your regular scheduled programming.